Mezeker

He’s 10 years old,

He looks pudgier than the other kids
but don’t be fooled

its just the worms infecting his system

He's got diarrhea
a swollen stomach
and can't sleep at night



He asks me if I remember his name

Its Mezeker

Mezeker means “remember”



But I don’t want to tell Him I know that

Cause I don’t want to remember any of this



if I do i know i will always feel his pain
Ill remember every child
beaten so badly by the world
I couldn't even tell the boys from the girls


I am blind here
all i see is no food
swollen stomachs
weak limbs
and short-lived smiles

I FEEL temperatures of 105
and skin so tough they cant feel the flies dancing around their eyes

all i hear is Mezeker crying in the night
drowning out his dreams of actually being able to provide
for 3 brothers and a sister even though he’s only 10



Im sorry Mezeker,

but I don’t want to remember



You know what, ill sponsor you

That way you’ll get my $30 a month

It'll provide you with food and maybe a little medicine



But the best part is I can set up automatic payments

Ill even Ignore the letters and then I wont have to remember


I can finally wipe my hands clean of the world's needs







but something inside me tells me
this just isn't right
When's the last time Jesus threw caesars face at someone
and said now I can rest at night

Didn't he lay hands on the hurting
bleed love into the blind
and always walk an extra mile

But Im not God Mezeker
Ive always struggled with inadequacy
and pastors have always told me
just use what God gives you

Where you can teach
instruct the faithful

where you can speak
inspire the nations

where you can love
Love abundantly

But for Mezeker

the only thing I have is these words




and words don't save lives
hands do

words don't change times
hands do

words won't make the fever go away
words will just watch him die
while hands forget to ever ask why
they just feel

and a temperature of 105
just doesnt feel right

so take my hands God
whether they're black or white

stitch this world back together
with these tools to bring light
to the darkness

cause apathy is worse than being heartless

and whether you have one or not
there are 2000 children of God whose hearts today will stop
6 have gone since i started this poem

just because they have no protection for their homes
from things we only fear
might draw a little blood

Mosquitos kill 880,000 a year
85% are under the age of 5

but im sorry Mezeker

I don’t want to remember your name


I wish I could speak disease out of existence
if I could write health into your heart
or recite salvation, into your soul

but at the end of the day all they are is words






So I’m sorry Mezeker…



but I don’t want to remember