Divine Husband

I gave you everything.


Everything you ever wanted.



and you turned away,




for that?







I provided for you,

I protected you

I held you close
I wiped your tears
I cried beside you
lifted you up
danced with you
sat in the gutter with you in my arms

i held you

i gave you life
love
protection
truth
i told you you were beautiful
told you id never leave you
promised eternity to you
i spoiled you each morning

every evening

and held you through the nights.





we had it all.





And there wasnt any need for sleep
because our dreams were reality.

I would have shattered physics to give you a rainbow
crushed mountains to shower you in diamonds
or dried up the oceans and make you a waterfall.





but you left me





for that?


for nothing?


for someone that doesnt love you.





You turned your head and left me at home
waiting for you

wondering if you ever really loved me.


and now there's only one thing I have strength enough to say to you...













"please dont ever forget that Im still here...



...and Im still in love with you."

This will never be Titled

Sometimes I wish I could disappear into the ocean.
Maybe there the vapor of your voice would rest on my cheek.

But these days my thoughts rage on a silent wind beneath me,
it tickles my feet and inspires me to dance.
But HOW CAN I EVEN THINK of dancing without you here?

Because you see, I dance only for God
but Ive hesitated so many times
feeling like maybe it would bring Him more glory
If i took you in my arms and showed the world
how to live with Divinity in mind.

Then again I might resolve to show no one
because this is a love story they cant fit in "once upon a time"
and I'm starting to believe this is what He really meant when He said
a chord of three strands will not be broken.

And I wonder if I were a waterfall
would you gaze on my silence with more admiration?
My hands are heavy with empty riverbeds and pointless memories
but somehow they still taste your broken nights
and pray for another tear drop to keep the river flowing.

Did you know I dreamed of your wedding last night?
You were beautiful, standing in a white dress that couldnt possibly match your own purity
but no groom ever showed up,
and you were left at a place where love was meant to be sacrificial
still wanting but always knowing that he never really existed anyway .
Maybe that's why the guests were so few.

And if I could choose my dreams
I would have taken your hand laden with doubt
stood before your fear and shown you
there could never be a day the sun was allowed to rise
without you being loved...and lavishly.

But of course, I forgot to wear a tux
but now I beg you to look into my eyes
and they will show you that every time I see you
I dress in Sincerity's finest silk.
Gaze further and they will teach you that
in them, you always find a way to outshine life itself,
even at an empty altar where Love has left you dry.

But at least here, in this moment, you have become real
Your courageous tears have finally washed away a decade of eye liner
and failed attempts to be the woman he said he needed.
They continued to run over your "i knew this would happen but I have to be optimistic"
smile
and your screaming 8 year old heart finally fell to the floor...

...that day true beauty was finally born.


So let me take you away from this
on a honeymoon at Intimacy's paradise.
I'll show you islands of truth where the waves beat against the shore
kissing the banks with whispers of your grace.
Palm trees here sway all day just hoping to catch one glimpse of your gaze
and the breeze blows the Ocean's children to your cheek
knowing that you are someone who truly loves.

Or we could go to an exotic city
ravaged with art
sculpted,
molded,
danced with paintbrush
wishing they could find something close to your tenderness.
(Did you know that Mona Lisa couldn't really smile because
in her heart she knew, that if you were ever put to painting
her name would never be known.)

Or I could take you to Italy
where Venice is flooded with my devotion
to your simple serenity
and I vow to push us through its streets
on gondolas of honesty.

And if our lives were to ever become boring,
I would pledge to sit inside with you during a rain storm,
smell the cookies baking inches from us
and watch a blank TV screen,
dreaming about your innocence.


And yes, sometimes leaves will fall from heights of insecurity
but I promise they will always be caught by the hands of little girls
dancing in their front yards not afraid to shine


and I have to tell you...
ours has the most beautiful eyes...




...more beautiful than the constellations.

Winter's Cold

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do

I pray to no longer see a girl walking lonely roads with passing hopes
and remember that you are gone afar and I am here,
still miles apart.

The frosty air whispers love songs on my cheek and reminds me that this is the 21st winter Ill have to endure without you
to keep my hands warm

You see, everything loses its color when summer vanishes
And though Beautiful white blankets find a way to warm my heart
The Winter’s Cold reminds me the only place color never fades
is inside people.

and you are Vibrant

Rivers of cherry sunrises rest in your touch,

golden sunflowers dance off of your lips

and your Royal Blue assurance that God is still among us teaches me
that He's inside of us too.
And He's never left us

and He begs to just read His love poems to us


All Im asking
Is that you sit down next to me


And we listen together

Solomon 2:16

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine..."


beloved,
when the wind blows softly whispering rain drops in my ear
i hear the promises your eyes scribbled on my palms that night
every time i opened them to someone else i was reminded of how you loved me
your blood-red ink stained my callouses created
from trying to be the woman i thought they always wanted
your sonnets seeped into the cuts id hidden under bandages of fear
and now my veins pulse to the beat of your naked heart

how could i possibly forget the vows those eyes spoke for me
long before the altar came back for its inheritance




My Bride,
i would stretch limbs like eagles
holed in the wrist
if only your beauty remembered my nameand
if they chose to pierce my side or go straight for the source
my heart would spill poetry on the worlds lips
they would wrap me in your linen fingers
and rather than raise back to life id call you to the grave to be
alone with you for eternity, even in darkness id know of your grace

how could i forget to dance with you on your birthday?
our feet form three strands reminding me
this must be the day i was really born too
you see i never knew life before you




beloved,
can we dance a little longer this night?
it may not be my birthday but any evening with you
is worth more than lifes first breath
hold to me vulnerably and i promise ill stay till dawn
love me more than they hurt me, lift me higher than i let them keep me
stay here,
slip your fingers in the empty spaces of my inadequacies
let me tell you
that i love you




Beloved,
ill flood your fears like a typhoon
raise you higher than heaven has made room for
as long as you never forget
your blank spaces give me room to breathe
your weakness upholds my strength
without you beneath me id fall further than lucifer

My Beloved i swear to you this,
i will love you until breath runs timid from these lungs
speech of your beauty causes death of me eternally
only your sweet whisper in this moment can revive me.
so tonight sing your heart into my palms once more Beloved,
can we go home now?...

i long to hear you breathe