This will never be Titled

Sometimes I wish I could disappear into the ocean.
Maybe there the vapor of your voice would rest on my cheek.

But these days my thoughts rage on a silent wind beneath me,
it tickles my feet and inspires me to dance.
But HOW CAN I EVEN THINK of dancing without you here?

Because you see, I dance only for God
but Ive hesitated so many times
feeling like maybe it would bring Him more glory
If i took you in my arms and showed the world
how to live with Divinity in mind.

Then again I might resolve to show no one
because this is a love story they cant fit in "once upon a time"
and I'm starting to believe this is what He really meant when He said
a chord of three strands will not be broken.

And I wonder if I were a waterfall
would you gaze on my silence with more admiration?
My hands are heavy with empty riverbeds and pointless memories
but somehow they still taste your broken nights
and pray for another tear drop to keep the river flowing.

Did you know I dreamed of your wedding last night?
You were beautiful, standing in a white dress that couldnt possibly match your own purity
but no groom ever showed up,
and you were left at a place where love was meant to be sacrificial
still wanting but always knowing that he never really existed anyway .
Maybe that's why the guests were so few.

And if I could choose my dreams
I would have taken your hand laden with doubt
stood before your fear and shown you
there could never be a day the sun was allowed to rise
without you being loved...and lavishly.

But of course, I forgot to wear a tux
but now I beg you to look into my eyes
and they will show you that every time I see you
I dress in Sincerity's finest silk.
Gaze further and they will teach you that
in them, you always find a way to outshine life itself,
even at an empty altar where Love has left you dry.

But at least here, in this moment, you have become real
Your courageous tears have finally washed away a decade of eye liner
and failed attempts to be the woman he said he needed.
They continued to run over your "i knew this would happen but I have to be optimistic"
smile
and your screaming 8 year old heart finally fell to the floor...

...that day true beauty was finally born.


So let me take you away from this
on a honeymoon at Intimacy's paradise.
I'll show you islands of truth where the waves beat against the shore
kissing the banks with whispers of your grace.
Palm trees here sway all day just hoping to catch one glimpse of your gaze
and the breeze blows the Ocean's children to your cheek
knowing that you are someone who truly loves.

Or we could go to an exotic city
ravaged with art
sculpted,
molded,
danced with paintbrush
wishing they could find something close to your tenderness.
(Did you know that Mona Lisa couldn't really smile because
in her heart she knew, that if you were ever put to painting
her name would never be known.)

Or I could take you to Italy
where Venice is flooded with my devotion
to your simple serenity
and I vow to push us through its streets
on gondolas of honesty.

And if our lives were to ever become boring,
I would pledge to sit inside with you during a rain storm,
smell the cookies baking inches from us
and watch a blank TV screen,
dreaming about your innocence.


And yes, sometimes leaves will fall from heights of insecurity
but I promise they will always be caught by the hands of little girls
dancing in their front yards not afraid to shine


and I have to tell you...
ours has the most beautiful eyes...




...more beautiful than the constellations.