Divine Husband

I gave you everything.


Everything you ever wanted.



and you turned away,




for that?







I provided for you,

I protected you

I held you close
I wiped your tears
I cried beside you
lifted you up
danced with you
sat in the gutter with you in my arms

i held you

i gave you life
love
protection
truth
i told you you were beautiful
told you id never leave you
promised eternity to you
i spoiled you each morning

every evening

and held you through the nights.





we had it all.





And there wasnt any need for sleep
because our dreams were reality.

I would have shattered physics to give you a rainbow
crushed mountains to shower you in diamonds
or dried up the oceans and make you a waterfall.





but you left me





for that?


for nothing?


for someone that doesnt love you.





You turned your head and left me at home
waiting for you

wondering if you ever really loved me.


and now there's only one thing I have strength enough to say to you...













"please dont ever forget that Im still here...



...and Im still in love with you."

This will never be Titled

Sometimes I wish I could disappear into the ocean.
Maybe there the vapor of your voice would rest on my cheek.

But these days my thoughts rage on a silent wind beneath me,
it tickles my feet and inspires me to dance.
But HOW CAN I EVEN THINK of dancing without you here?

Because you see, I dance only for God
but Ive hesitated so many times
feeling like maybe it would bring Him more glory
If i took you in my arms and showed the world
how to live with Divinity in mind.

Then again I might resolve to show no one
because this is a love story they cant fit in "once upon a time"
and I'm starting to believe this is what He really meant when He said
a chord of three strands will not be broken.

And I wonder if I were a waterfall
would you gaze on my silence with more admiration?
My hands are heavy with empty riverbeds and pointless memories
but somehow they still taste your broken nights
and pray for another tear drop to keep the river flowing.

Did you know I dreamed of your wedding last night?
You were beautiful, standing in a white dress that couldnt possibly match your own purity
but no groom ever showed up,
and you were left at a place where love was meant to be sacrificial
still wanting but always knowing that he never really existed anyway .
Maybe that's why the guests were so few.

And if I could choose my dreams
I would have taken your hand laden with doubt
stood before your fear and shown you
there could never be a day the sun was allowed to rise
without you being loved...and lavishly.

But of course, I forgot to wear a tux
but now I beg you to look into my eyes
and they will show you that every time I see you
I dress in Sincerity's finest silk.
Gaze further and they will teach you that
in them, you always find a way to outshine life itself,
even at an empty altar where Love has left you dry.

But at least here, in this moment, you have become real
Your courageous tears have finally washed away a decade of eye liner
and failed attempts to be the woman he said he needed.
They continued to run over your "i knew this would happen but I have to be optimistic"
smile
and your screaming 8 year old heart finally fell to the floor...

...that day true beauty was finally born.


So let me take you away from this
on a honeymoon at Intimacy's paradise.
I'll show you islands of truth where the waves beat against the shore
kissing the banks with whispers of your grace.
Palm trees here sway all day just hoping to catch one glimpse of your gaze
and the breeze blows the Ocean's children to your cheek
knowing that you are someone who truly loves.

Or we could go to an exotic city
ravaged with art
sculpted,
molded,
danced with paintbrush
wishing they could find something close to your tenderness.
(Did you know that Mona Lisa couldn't really smile because
in her heart she knew, that if you were ever put to painting
her name would never be known.)

Or I could take you to Italy
where Venice is flooded with my devotion
to your simple serenity
and I vow to push us through its streets
on gondolas of honesty.

And if our lives were to ever become boring,
I would pledge to sit inside with you during a rain storm,
smell the cookies baking inches from us
and watch a blank TV screen,
dreaming about your innocence.


And yes, sometimes leaves will fall from heights of insecurity
but I promise they will always be caught by the hands of little girls
dancing in their front yards not afraid to shine


and I have to tell you...
ours has the most beautiful eyes...




...more beautiful than the constellations.

Winter's Cold

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do

I pray to no longer see a girl walking lonely roads with passing hopes
and remember that you are gone afar and I am here,
still miles apart.

The frosty air whispers love songs on my cheek and reminds me that this is the 21st winter Ill have to endure without you
to keep my hands warm

You see, everything loses its color when summer vanishes
And though Beautiful white blankets find a way to warm my heart
The Winter’s Cold reminds me the only place color never fades
is inside people.

and you are Vibrant

Rivers of cherry sunrises rest in your touch,

golden sunflowers dance off of your lips

and your Royal Blue assurance that God is still among us teaches me
that He's inside of us too.
And He's never left us

and He begs to just read His love poems to us


All Im asking
Is that you sit down next to me


And we listen together

Solomon 2:16

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine..."


beloved,
when the wind blows softly whispering rain drops in my ear
i hear the promises your eyes scribbled on my palms that night
every time i opened them to someone else i was reminded of how you loved me
your blood-red ink stained my callouses created
from trying to be the woman i thought they always wanted
your sonnets seeped into the cuts id hidden under bandages of fear
and now my veins pulse to the beat of your naked heart

how could i possibly forget the vows those eyes spoke for me
long before the altar came back for its inheritance




My Bride,
i would stretch limbs like eagles
holed in the wrist
if only your beauty remembered my nameand
if they chose to pierce my side or go straight for the source
my heart would spill poetry on the worlds lips
they would wrap me in your linen fingers
and rather than raise back to life id call you to the grave to be
alone with you for eternity, even in darkness id know of your grace

how could i forget to dance with you on your birthday?
our feet form three strands reminding me
this must be the day i was really born too
you see i never knew life before you




beloved,
can we dance a little longer this night?
it may not be my birthday but any evening with you
is worth more than lifes first breath
hold to me vulnerably and i promise ill stay till dawn
love me more than they hurt me, lift me higher than i let them keep me
stay here,
slip your fingers in the empty spaces of my inadequacies
let me tell you
that i love you




Beloved,
ill flood your fears like a typhoon
raise you higher than heaven has made room for
as long as you never forget
your blank spaces give me room to breathe
your weakness upholds my strength
without you beneath me id fall further than lucifer

My Beloved i swear to you this,
i will love you until breath runs timid from these lungs
speech of your beauty causes death of me eternally
only your sweet whisper in this moment can revive me.
so tonight sing your heart into my palms once more Beloved,
can we go home now?...

i long to hear you breathe

Dream Catcher

I once looked in a well.
And when the water had risen to the top I thought of you

in the ripples caused from dropping in a dream and making a prayer,
i saw your smile.

I think of you a lot lately,
though i wish your smile came around more often

perhaps we could get coffee and speak of children's laughter

Mornings With You

Another one of my pieces that's really close to my reason for writing. This was many peoples' favorite around my friends and in the slam.


Mornings With You

there are nights that I dream
And each night i dream of you
becomes a morning i truly get to live.

And if I was given the chance to wake from those dreams
and smell the sweet scent of your breath on my cheek,
i would sleep on my side every night
no matter how much it hurt my back.

If i could dream of swimming in your eyes
and wake up each morning to their green serenity staring back at me,
I would never let you out of my sight
no matter how many tampons i had to buy.

Each morning I would take all my thoughts of you
wrap them up in a bouquet
and place them at your feet to hold when you awake.

I would scatter petals plucked from memories
all over the floor, leading to the kitchen
where i cook breakfast with all my promises to love you:

two stacks of buttermilk poems filled
with blueberry whispers of how perfect your eyes are
in the morning,

a dozen scrambled kisses
cooked just the way you like it
and planted all over your cheek...
or your forehead...
the end of your nose.

Id throw in two strips of
"i love yous" prepared firm and crispy
but declared oh so tenderly
and wash it all down with a glass of all my prayers to God
asking Him how i ever lived without you.

And I would watch you eat ever so slowly,
begging God that every ounce of my heart
given to you provides nourishment and truth to your precious soul.

and if this
was all there could be for us,
if this was all that was written in our love story
and we had to relive this moment over and over again
till our intimacy meets in paradise with its author,

i would live my life to turn each page
and dream of you once more.

Ok so, I've had some trouble wanting to post some of my most intimate pieces, especially the one's that really come straight from who I am. But it's all about being vulnerable before people and relying solely on His hand for strength. So here are a couple of my most naked pieces.


Cliche

Love poems are so cliché.

Romantics today have lost all originality.
We all seem to whine about love and pain,
beauty that torments,
eyes that are like pools,
or the way your hair smells like lavender.

Well, that’s not necessarily for me,
but i hate to think I would be a bad poet if I wrote about your eyes
and how helpless I feel every time they begin to dance with mine;

or the touch of your hand
and how weak I get every time you leave it in mine longer than just a friendly "hello.”

Or if I wrote of your laugh,
and though it's just a giggle
I am suddenly back at the dentist
floating above the chair
completely high on the laughing gas.


Well, I’m sorry I can’t think of flashy words
or obscure metaphors to tickle your imagination
and make you think I said something more beautiful
than the Northern Lights on a midnight darkness in January

but I have this sickness you see,
I have this terrible habit of telling it exactly like it is

so here it goes...



You are beautiful.


And that’s kinda all I got;
in fact, that’s all I've ever really had
and I dont care how many guys have verbalized, lyricized or scripturalized that to their "girl"
because none of them have ever said it the way my stomach screams it
every time you come around
and i still cant believe you havent heard it yet!

And what if your eyes really are like pools
except yours have become so full of the essence of God i call them OCEANS,
oceans to which i am scared to death to swim in
but i would take a torpedo and sink this broken ship
if it meant i could feel them loving me back for just one sunrise.


Or what if every time i catch a whiff of your hair
my daydreams really become fields of lavender
as i sit behind you staring into your thoughts
and a couple of rich, brown strands leap from the rest
just to dance on my nostrils

or what if i told you that when you smile...
all i have strength for is surrender.
My cares, my hopes, my desires and certainly these very words,
they are all forfeited just for your very beauty...
I cant even lift my arm in revolution when you look at me

And what if every time you laugh
i really can hear the songs of angels not yet fallen
and my future is secured on Eternity’s shores with you at my side, your hand in mine
because your laugh...

your laugh makes me want to die.

So call me cliché,
call me a terrible poet,
buy my book out of pity obligation with your couch change
and throw it on your forgotten shelf for the spiders to flip through as they spin their webs,
but at least their homes will be filled with a love that is real,
and they will know truth from the Holy Spirit dwelling within these pages.

And maybe one day you will decide to read it.
Maybe one day you will take it off that shelf and glance over these words,
and maybe then you will know

that when i say
your laughter is heavenly,
your eyes are greater than oceans,
and your hair is sweeter than rain...


Maybe then you will know...



that it's true.

Generation Truth

"I see a generation
rising up to take their place
with a selfless faith
a selfless faith"


Oh I see a generation,
not bound by laws or expectations,
not caged by all the "shouldnts" and "couldnts".
In fact, physics itself holds no chains on their worship

They have seen the truth like you
But they knelt refusing to turn away!
He has graced over the shambles of their broken walls
and now dwells within their very existence

AND NOW THEY ARE THE TRUTH!

We have lifted our heads above the ignorant muck
and seen a world become a wasteland of slaughtered sheep.

Golden oaks have sprung up bearing fruit
of what life was truly meant to be .
From the very depths of the sacrificed
they have broken ground;

our bodies have been slain at the altar of peace and fertilized the soil,
our blood has flooded the earth but nourishes the magnificent,
and His world has finally taken root in our very bones!

You want a bride!?
Well she's coming,
and she's coming fast!

So beware, timid Boaz,
Ezra rests in your sheets,
her offering lays before you
alluring you with all that was fashioned in a woman's soul!

You better take hold, Esau,
or your brother will run away with your inheritance!

and please...Sit down, precious Martha...
Please...
Your Lord begs only for your presence.

"I have seen the King of Glory
riding on the clouds with fire,
the whole earth shakes.
The whole earth shakes."

This is a Revolution
and I only have one question for you...

R U in to love?

Funeral Dress

So, I have writer's block and one of my favorite ways to work with it is to listen and read other works of art and tonight William Fitzsimmons is tearin me up so again this is not mine. But it does paint a perfect story of what God meant in a marriage and a relationship wholly focused on His Son and what the husband would say to his wife after death.



Funeral Dress by William Fitzsimmons

On a rack in a store for a discount price
But the color’s been changed to a black from white
Though the difference will prob’ly be lost on me
Anyways

And don’t worry if laughter is on your lips
Cause you wouldn’t be you if you changed for this
And I won’t measure love from the tears that drip
From your face

i can't wait for you
i can't wait for you

i suppose i should hope that it turns out fine
But I hope that some sadness does cross your mind
And you’ll look for me when you have crossed that line
Come one day

i can't wait for you
i can't wait for you
i can't wait for you

Refuge

When the insecurities encompass the life you've fought to provide
I will hold onto your hand; a child desperate for purpose.

When they slip chains on my feet and and bricks on my chest
I will stand on your shoulders trusting the strength of nations over my own.

When doubts slice peace and deafen hearts
i will find your soft, still voice and swim in it,
naked and unafraid because what i once was is now being made
like light to those who cannot see

like mothers to those without nurture,

like fathers to those with abandonment,

like dreams of marriage to those with only nightmares

and if the red figure destroys battalions; trading food for reason, water for life,
I will remain, choosing a sword formed in existence

a blade fashioned by the voice of truth singing in the night
amongst all other slender promises ravished of peace.

My heart will not be satisfied till it is passed by on the mountain
left with nothing but a whisper creating earthquakes to my soul
and leaving years of scars long forgotten which i call...


hope.

The Lord has been good.

Ok, I probably won't be writing for a while, and if I do, I most likely won't post it. I'm going to be spending almost all of my free time for the next few days, perhaps weeks, listening to my God and Father for His plan in some areas of my life. I will repost as soon as He begins to work some things out in me.

Friday Night Vision

curl back your lips
let me feel your smile

close your eyes
hold in the mysteries of the world

put my hands on your cheeks
we'll ignore the winds of struggle

put your hands on mine
give me strength again

giggle silently
I promise ill hear it

curl your nose into my neck
make me whole again

pray with me
We'll worship Him together...

into eternity.

Dream Catcher

I stayed in bed till 1:00 today,


just because I dreamt of you.

Archipelago of Kisses

So I broke a rule, this isn't one of mine (though I wish it was), it's one I like a lot by Jeffery McDaniel


The Archipelago of Kisses
Jeffery McDaniel

We live in a modern society. Husbands and wives don't
grow on trees, like in the old days. So where
does one find love? When you're sixteen it's easy,
like being unleashed with a credit card
in a department store of kisses. There's the first kiss.
The sloppy kiss. The peck.
The sympathy kiss. The backseat smooch. The we
shouldn't be doing this kiss. The but your lips
taste so good kiss. The bury me in an avalanche of tingles kiss.
The I wish you'd quit smoking kiss.
The I accept your apology, but you make me really mad
sometimes kiss. The I know
your tongue like the back of my hand kiss. As you get
older, kisses become scarce. You'll be driving
home and see a damaged kiss on the side of the road,
with its purple thumb out. If you
were younger, you'd pull over, slide open the mouth's
red door just to see how it fits. Oh where
does one find love? If you rub two glances, you get a smile.
Rub two smiles, you get a warm feeling.
Rub two warm feelings and presto-you have a kiss.
Now what? Don't invite the kiss over
and answer the door in your underwear. It'll get suspicious
and stare at your toes. Don't water the kiss with whiskey.
It'll turn bright pink and explode into a thousand luscious splinters,
but in the morning it'll be ashamed and sneak out of
your body without saying good-bye,
and you'll remember that kiss forever by all the little cuts it left
on the inside of your mouth. You must
nurture the kiss. Turn out the lights. Notice how it
illuminates the room. Hold it to your chest
and wonder if the sand inside hourglasses comes from a
special beach. Place it on the tongue's pillow,
then look up the first recorded kiss in an encyclopedia: beneath
a Babylonian olive tree in 1200 B.C.
But one kiss levitates above all the others. The
intersection of function and desire. The I do kiss.
The I'll love you through a brick wall kiss.
Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the Earth,
like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones.

Songs of Seattle

I see Seattle in your eyes,

and though the wind blows I am distracted by your lips
which tune the city lights out of view
and make centuries long for just one more sunrise.

And we walk down fourth street,
kind of holding hands with three tiny fingers just
barely clinging on as they sway back and forth.

I raise my eyes to greet you on my left
and you do the same to your right,

you smile

and then you gently let go,
giving me the chance to start all over again.

Now I climb these city walls like Spiderman on skyscrapers,
just to find you,
alone in the middle of me.
You're mere essence the taste of my persistent and passionate prayers
to the time you throw back your hair and I want to catch 100 cabs
just to cruise the curves
of your neck.

Chamomile is now the fragrance that I cling to,
sniffing the clouds that cover this city, but on this day
they rest and let the sun play.

Your lips are his sandbox,
your cheek bones, his great adventure,
and your eyebrows, his dream of growing up to become a man
and growing to know the truth...

that God is alive,
and in this city He rest,

in the quintessence of your existence.

He finds pleasure in loving your name
and passing that love to me to give it back again.

So now I run,
and I walk,
and I even begin to crawl,

searching every street sign,
every bar and coffee house
every bum and every grandfather,
each suburban home of this urban paradise
to learn all I can of this beautiful place,

so that when I see you I can say

"God is here,
and i see Seattle in your eyes."

Angel in the Night

In my Most Naked Spirit
Ive thrown away my phone,
stuck with thinking every call will turn up
your name.

And it churns,
sifting the pages, each wish
catches tail wind and forgets to take
the glass slipper with it.

Because I once looked in a crowded room,
covered from ceiling dust to panel creaks,
but only one light stood shining.
One square couldn't...and wouldn't leave my eye.

She was the only star that came out that night.
The rest hid in their clouds,
shamed by her innocence.

And right then I only wanted Antigone to lower me a camera
so that I might have something to rest with
giving me truth until grey hairs pluck my sanity.

And I wish I were more artistic.
Then, perhaps, I would have something worth offering her, this single twilight.

Perhaps I will struggle at a painting.
For I would spend a lifetime getting this portrait right,
just so I could hold her for a little longer...

...my Angel in the Night.

Perfect in her story...

...my Angel in the Night.


My Angel in the Night.

Wind Break

Have you ever watched the water as the wind changed?
as if an angel came down and breathed into it
because now it has life, like
an exhalation of destiny flowing from me the first time I saw you today

and now I am here wishing you were beside me because
somehow you just seem to make the water not so cold.

And it leaves me forced to stand, staring at her, but thinking of you.
And though her legs may give Greek Goddesses their jealousy
it has always been you that my heart was created for out of thunder.

And your eyes, a touch of green serenity, take me
to the forest of eternity where we run through the branches
singing to the leaves and holding our daughter's hands in our own.

it was for this purpose We were created

For You

you would stand behind a veil
concealing wild white horses, swaying limbs of evergreen, and mystereyes wrapped in song
then your peach ripened lips began molding your fingers to form this very parable

you always found your way to follow me home
where you would rest in my dreams.
where Christ Himself must have been crucified to shred that hidden veil
and fulfill the predestined prophecy known as you and me

and now we dance more perfectly than waterfalls in spring
we sing more harmoniously than the morning birds of sunrise
backwards or forwards holds little prayers with us
for our love scribbles jealousy on the hearts of all who dare to see.

one day dreams will be reality
our sleep will become destiny
i will wake in the morning
and with you in my hands we will write joy on their doorsteps...

until then dear little one,
come with me, and we will dream some more

Here we Go

So this is definitely my first blog. Kinda not experienced with this stuff but wanted a way to put my poetry and random thoughts in one place and this is better than Facebook and allows more stuff than Twitter. Let me know what you like, dont like, and couldnt care less about. PLEASE BE HONEST, i dont get my feelings hurt easily. thanks